The funny side++
US TROOPS ACCIDENTALLY
SURROUND UTAH!
Mistook Desert Environs for Afghanistan
Troop Buildup in Idaho, Wyoming and Colorado
Mormon Government Said 'Close to Surrender '
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah - Mistaking the desert environs for the Middle East, US Airforce, Marines and Armor Divisions have accidentally surrounded Utah, which was mistaken for Afghanistan, and blockaded its capital, Salt Lake City, which they mistook for Kabul.
Despite
the incorrect location, the Pentagon said that the operation is a tatical
success, and rapid progress is being made in securing the location and
quelling the population. At press time, there was no word on whether the
cities of Provo and Ogden or the state's ski resorts were bombed.
"We were surprised when we encountered no resistance from the
population," said Colonel Harold Rogers of the 85th Infantry Division,
heading the operation from an undisclosed mountainous region near Salt Lake
City.
"Heck, its so empty and hot, we thought it was Afghanistan." said Sergeant Salmey, a tank commander based in a remote part of Wyoming, which was initially thought to be Tajikisatan. "How the bejesus could anyone live out here, in these conditions anyway, is beyond me."
Apparently,
there was a sighting error When planes flew overhead, and saw the large
distance without civilization, they were sure they had reached Central Asia.
The nations military sees no reason to abandon the operation, however, and
will probably find a reason to continue on and liberate Utah.
"This
is a very conservative region. Dissent is not tolerated. And the treatment
of women is terrible. Perhaps we could get in there and show them a new way
of life," Rogers said.
The worst moment of the episode occurred on the outskirts of Salt Lake City,
where forces surrounded what was thought to be a terrorist camp. It turned
out to be a Wal Mart.
"We ransacked the shelves, thinking it was terrorist supplies. Frightened the hell out of the customers. We even thought we got Bin-Laden," said Rogers, "But turns out he was just one of the cashiers who had let his hair grow a little long."
Defense
Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was angry at the mistake and threatened to fire
the officers responsible. But Congress may support the invasion.
"Doesn't matter what we bomb," said Strom Thurmond, Senator of
South Carolina. "Long as we bomb something. So let's go in there and
drop something on somebody, show em not to mess with 'mericans."